Gender What?

From a young age, society would create separate roles for males and females. It is assumed that a boy should wear blue and a girl pink. Boys should aspire to be firefighters and policemen while girls should aspire to be models and teachers. This is the stereotypical norm, but what happens when the girl desires to be a firefighter or a policewoman? What if the boy aspires to be a model? Are these children now to be considered wrong or should they be assumed to be homosexual in some way?

Over the past few decades, women have tremendously progressed worldwide in equality and gender perception. However, in some cultures including many African cultures, men and women are still placed in arbitrary pigeonholes. But is this right? Should young men and women limit their possibilities simply because of “how we do things?” In the age of female presidents and CEOs, could it be that many of us Africans need to let go of outdated views and stereotypes?

Growing up, it has been an inspiration to see the various jobs my mother has worked. Growing up in Ghana, my mother was a teacher, and she also worked as a firefighter, rising to very high ranks within her profession. I could imagine that even in today’s world, many men would have an issue with a firefighter wife. Seeing my mother not only hold this job but do it well has shown me that as women there is no job we cannot excel in. We should not allow society or others to dictate limits on our dreams. Dream big, dream widely and dream vividly!

Tags: african cultures, gender inequality, gender perception

Misunderstood

Whether you were born or brought to America at a young age  I’m very sure  you have experienced the hurt of being misunderstood due to  being  caught between two cultures.  Generational and cultural differences have become some of the dominant areas of conflict between parents and children.  These difficulties tend to strain essential family relationships, topping to the already hard task of acclimating to a new country and culture. 

It hurts to be misunderstood and the pain is doubled when it involves a parent or both.  No matter how tense a relationship between parents and children get, the child arguably hurts the most – he or she grows up in confusion, not quite fitting in with Americans and failing to reach the high standards of his or her native culture.  There is also an aspect of the situation whereby a child’s actions are misinterpreted by parents as disrespectful.  This is no less true for young people from Africa.

Take me for instance. I lived in Ghana until the age of 15 and was accustomed and well set in the ways of my native culture.  Nonetheless, upon arriving in America, I encountered some conflicts between societal norms of these two cultures, Ghana and America.  For example, in American culture, intense eye contact is essential and viewed as positive.  It is, however, viewed as either rude or disrespectful in Ghana..  A child caught between these two cultures will no doubt experience the frustrations that come with having the best of both worlds: trying to discover one’s identity while pleasing   parents at the same time.  The split may end up causing confusion, stress and even identity crisis.

What is a potential solution to this problem? I believe both parents and children need to demonstrate understanding by acknowledging each other’s struggles.  As much of a learning process it is for children, it is so for parents as well. 

We must keep in mind that emigrating can also be very difficult for the parents who are less likely to adapt faster to the new system than their children. 

To the parents: there is no substitute for love.  Allow your children to be themselves, taking the best of both American and African cultures to help them make the most out of the opportunities you came to take advantage of. 

To the children: the fact that you are misunderstood does not  mean  you’re not being loved. 

Make your parents proud, and glorify God in all you do.           

Tags: africa, african cultures, cultural differences, societal norms