You Need To Gain Weight

As a young African woman, I know how the weight issue plays a large part in how the African community views skinny women.  I would like to expound further on the above statement.

In the African community, a plump woman is considered to be more beautiful as opposed to a skinny woman.  As far as some Africans are concerned; if a woman is skinny then she probably is sick.  This weight issue is even true when it comes to relationships.

Some African men tend to desire women who are more on the plump side than on the skinny side.  I have heard some African men say things like: “I want something to hold on to” or “I do not want a skinny woman because I will break her when I try to hug her.”  My heart goes out especially to married couples.  I do not understand why a skinny married woman is supposedly not being treated well by her husband.  It is not the same judgment passed if the married woman were plump.  So some people in the African community have the skewed perspective that it is highly likely that a skinny wife will be neglected by her husband, whereas, a plump wife will be well taken care of.

Honestly, real women come in all shapes and sizes.  As long as your health is not at risk, do not be ashamed of how God created you.  No one has the right to judge you or try to change who you are.  You are beautiful no matter your size.

Tags: african community, african men, skinny women, views of skinny women, weight issue

Interracial Relationships: What’s the Big Deal?

CNN featured a story last week (click here for full story) about a Justice of the Peace who refused to give a marriage license to a couple because they were of different races. Similarly in the African community, people are critical of those who marry outside of their race. Such folks are often viewed oddly as though they had some sort of deformity; the assumption is that the person may be ashamed of his/her race among other reasons.

To analyze this from a biblical perspective, let us glance at one Scripture, Matthew 19:6. Jesus said, “What God has put together, let not man separate,” (NIV). The preamble of the United States Constitution states that “All men are created equal,” and this is true. Our differences are only skin deep and they leave our hearts untouched. Therefore, men and women of all races are equally equipped to love, to care and to marry. People may have their opinions, beliefs, and biases, but in the end, it is God’s opinion that matters. Isaiah 55:9 says, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

I truly believe that God has given everyone the right to marry whomever they see fit. I pray that you will stand your ground for the man or woman you love, no matter what color his or her skin happens to be, and I am confident that God will be proud of your act of love.

Tags: african community, biblical perspective on interracial dating, interracial dating, interracial reationships

Bouquet of Flowers

African women are in a class of their own and they are fabulous in their own right. No two African women are the same. Growing up in Ghana, I was surrounded by all types and shades of African women. They come in different complexions, sizes, heights, and the list expands. As different as one woman is from the next, so is her personality, ideal, and perspective on life. Along with the variety of African women come flare, flavor, spice, and a well-rounded influence in the African society/community. So why then am I referring to African women as a bouquet of flowers?

Well, when it comes to a bouquet of flowers there are numerous variations with each type possessing unique features. Some flowers are bright in color while others are banal. Others have thorns and some don’t. Each flower also carries with it a unique smell that makes it stand out. Roses, orchids, tulips, carnations, and hydrangeas all come in distinctive sizes as well as serve special functions depending on the occasion. Just as there are several types of flowers, so do they vary in color: red, yellow, orange, white, pink, black, lavender, and peach. When these different colored flowers are brought together they light up any place because they are a gorgeous sight.

So reverting to the subject of African women as a whole, they are indeed a bouquet of flowers; each woman shining in her own right. Unafraid to be who she is, she holds her head high. She is a queen, a princess, an ideal woman {obaasema} who is “fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14)

Tags: african community, african society, african women, obaasema