To Be or not to Be Submissive?

For those who are familiar with the Bible, a quick way to stir up controversy among women is to bring up the topic of submission. The most famous Bible text regarding this (Ephesians 5:22) states: “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” The quoting of this text often incites swift responses such as, “I’m not going to let a man walk over me!” or “This doesn’t apply anymore! It’s the 21^st century!” These reactions are usually heated and emotional, but the passion behind them doesn’t necessarily mean that they are in line with sound reasoning. Learning the art of submission is essential in every woman’s path to becoming her ideal lady.

Submission is defined by the American Heritage Dictionary as, “The state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.” Being submissive is important in healthy relationships because concessions are often more effective in gaining and maintaining peace than compromise. With a compromise, nobody is happy. With a concession, one person is pleased to receive, and the other, to give. Submission is a great gift that adds health to every relationship. However, it surely has its limits. Submission is not meant for a woman to endure any abuse. In the same way the Bible encourages women to submit to their husbands, it also encourages husbands to love their wives as themselves, even to the point of death. There is no way abuse falls within these guidelines. Submission is not an order for women to be “door mats” for people to walk on.

Most importantly, submission is not only useful within the confines of a marriage, but also extremely helpful in other settings.  Submission can be less defined as weakness and more as humility. Humility will take you far in school, at work, and in friendships. No ideal woman can exist without a great measure of humility. Those who humble themselves will eventually be elevated. I encourage you to embrace your submissive side, and take notice of the results you will reap. Your personal, academic, and professional lives will likely be much more peaceful once you add a little humility to your demeanor. Now you’re one step closer to your ideal self!

Tags: being submissive, ideal woman, meaning of submission, submission, submissive women, topic of submission

Black and Female? African Women’s Struggles for Credibility

From seemingly ancient times to the current day, being African or of African descent has automatically placed aspiring students and professionals at the bottom of an uphill battle. There was a time where it was scientifically accepted as fact that Africans were anatomically disadvantaged and incapable of reaching advanced levels of intelligence. This struggle has left deep scars in the heritage and memory of Africans, yet the stigma is further compounded by a simultaneous struggle against gender discrimination.

Africans have faced discrimination for centuries, yet women have been marginalized for much, much longer. In the Bible, it was shown that women were being marginalized as early as the first century AD, and it is highly likely that the suffering of women has gone back even farther. Sadly, in the same way, Africans have not fully recovered from their age of plight and the same is equally true for women. This brings to mind the question of how we, as women, can survive the double burden.

In the professional world, women have fiercely struggled against what is known as the “Glass ceiling.” This “Glass ceiling” is an invisible but firm limit on women’s professional mobility, and has caused countless cases of qualified women to be passed over for promotions given to equally or less qualified men. This practice is also found in academic settings, where according to civilrights.org, women face discrimination in attaining higher degrees especially in fields such as Math and Science.

Despite the unfavorable conditions we face as women, there are glimmers of hope. In an age of female prime ministers and heads of state, women are reaching new heights and chipping away at this “glass ceiling,” many of whom are women of color.

There are no heights that we cannot reach, and no goal that we cannot attain. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” I encourage you to take this text as a personal mantra and challenge yourself to reach greater heights. Young black girls and women everywhere will appreciate your contribution to their futures.

Tags: african women struggles, gender discrimination, gender inequality, glass ceiling

Gender What?

From a young age, society would create separate roles for males and females. It is assumed that a boy should wear blue and a girl pink. Boys should aspire to be firefighters and policemen while girls should aspire to be models and teachers. This is the stereotypical norm, but what happens when the girl desires to be a firefighter or a policewoman? What if the boy aspires to be a model? Are these children now to be considered wrong or should they be assumed to be homosexual in some way?

Over the past few decades, women have tremendously progressed worldwide in equality and gender perception. However, in some cultures including many African cultures, men and women are still placed in arbitrary pigeonholes. But is this right? Should young men and women limit their possibilities simply because of “how we do things?” In the age of female presidents and CEOs, could it be that many of us Africans need to let go of outdated views and stereotypes?

Growing up, it has been an inspiration to see the various jobs my mother has worked. Growing up in Ghana, my mother was a teacher, and she also worked as a firefighter, rising to very high ranks within her profession. I could imagine that even in today’s world, many men would have an issue with a firefighter wife. Seeing my mother not only hold this job but do it well has shown me that as women there is no job we cannot excel in. We should not allow society or others to dictate limits on our dreams. Dream big, dream widely and dream vividly!

Tags: african cultures, gender inequality, gender perception

Living (Your?) Dreams

It is the innate desire of every human to seek his or her happiness in relationships, careers, finances or other aspects of life. Ambition is a unique drive that keeps a person going through adversities, trials, and setbacks. The problem is, whose dream are you seeking to reach? Yours or someone else’s?

There is nothing more inspiring than observing the ambition of a youth who is planning his or her life. Children are encouraged to “Dream big,” and their parents are impressed by their lofty goals and aspirations. We can all probably remember what we wanted to be when we were growing up. However, over time, things change, and many of us encounter confusion regarding lifelong occupations. This confusion can come from many areas: change of interest, self-discovery, and influence from others.

In regard to influence from others, children are often influenced by their parents in their choice of profession; this is often very true within African cultures. In the eyes of many African families there is a handful of respectable professions, and most parents prefer that their children enter those professions. Some of these occupations, physician or lawyer, are chosen primarily for their financial benefit and the resulting prestige.  However, whenever this is the case, the child is deprived of his or her personal ambition, and a job that he or she truly loves. Parents often steer their children in a certain direction to ensure their future prosperity. They do this out of love, but it comes at the expense of the child’s happiness. Which is much important?

It is important to choose a job based on what you are called to do. When you finally are in that job you were meant to be in, you will know. Instead of living your parents’ dream, you must live yours. After all, you are the one who will be living it.

Tags: choice of prefession, lifelong occupations, living dreams, self-discovery

Higher Rates of Disease Among African Women: How Does it Affect our Lives?

This semester, I have been taking a Health Principles class which discusses various  issues and practices  useful for living a healthier lifestyle. The term paper for this class involves a family tree of diseases with report on the most prevalent one. As someone attending a historically black university, the results of this assignment was a dismal informal study on the health condition of families of African descent. Upon asking my classmates about their findings, I heard all of them report diabetes and high blood pressure (hypertension) in their families for generations. Sadly, this is only the beginning of the matter.

The United States Department for Health and Human Services reports that African Americans have higher rates of certain diseases and early death than whites. African American women are also twice as likely to develop diabetes as Caucasian women of the same age. The leading causes of death among African American women are heart disease, stroke, cancer, and kidney disease. Also, African Americans contract sexually transmitted diseases at higher rates, to the point where among women, two out of every three HIV cases are African Americans.  These are only a few statistics that show that African women have a major struggle in regard to health.

There are many possible explanations for this unfortunate phenomenon. But there is a very noticeable pattern among these diseases in that they are all “lifestyle diseases,” meaning that lifestyle decisions affect the likelihood of a person developing a particular disease. Our diet, sexual choices, and other decisions we make will contribute to our health conditions in the future. As African women I think we must do ourselves a service by taking care of ourselves, both for our sakes and for our loved ones.

Tags: african health conditions, african women health, lifestyle diseases

When Your Loved Ones are Overseas – Dealing With Homesickness

Being an international student tends to brood some of the loneliest situations a person could experience. During this period, one is usually presented with culture shock, the challenge of developing meaningful friendships and entering a confusing world simultaneously. It is difficult to spend years away from home, family and lifelong friends in a strange, unfamiliar and intimidating environment. Some of these situations eventually progress into depression, a far too common occurrence on college campuses.

The boundary of separation amongst students with families overseas is much stronger than those who may have arrived from distant cities or states throughout a country. Simple phone calls for international students are almost always more expensive due to the distance, exacting shorter phone conversations with families.  An additional layer to the problem is that international students quite often cannot afford to visit families during breaks; for many of these students, college is the first time they have been separated from their families for such a long period of time.

Dealing with the loneliness of extreme homesickness is difficult, but very possible. The key is to be proactive. Situations involving loneliness and separation are easily improved with a positive outlook. There is an equation that states: an Outcome is equal to an Event plus a person’s Response (E+R=O). In this instance, response is essential. It would be very helpful to make the most out of the college experience by building meaningful friendships, getting involved in on-campus activities and pursuing personal interests. These may not replace family relationships, but they can occupy your time and help keep your mind off homesickness. Sacrifice always brings a reward, and being far away from home to establish a great life is no exception.

Tags: dealing with loneliness, family relationships, international students, interntional student homesickness

African fashion on campus: Dress Proud and be a Sore Thumb?

In a western society, on a college campus, one can easily stand out by wearing traditional clothing. Muslim burqas, Jewish headwear, and African traditional attire can surely attract a double-take in certain settings. They make powerful statements and carry a sense of pride for the wearer’s culture. Many people also love to see traditional outfits because they provide a glimpse of the beauty spread across our world. However, there are situations in which wearing traditional clothing may not always benefit the wearer. Often, people discriminate against those who wear traditional clothing, regardless of the culture.

The U.S. Equal Employment Commission  describes this type of discrimination as: “Harassing or otherwise discriminating because of physical, cultural, or linguistic characteristics, such as accent or dress associated with a particular religion, ethnicity, or country of origin.” Many times people label those who wear traditional clothing and harass or discriminate against them. These actions are wrong, and in most cases illegal. If you are ever discriminated against, especially in the workplace, please contact your local agency to have them pursue  proper legal course of action.

As with all things, wearing traditional clothing in a public setting has a two-sided effect. It demonstrates pride for your culture, and allows you to more strongly represent your roots. On the other side, it can encourage discrimination and unpleasant behavior. Ultimately, the choice is yours to make. Do the drawbacks outweigh the advantages for your current situation?  Does it really matter to you? The issue of clothing is trivial at best, and if there are any problems between you and others, take time to ponder the situation. You will most likely find that the issue lies not with the dress, but with the culture it represents.

Tags: african fashion, african fashion on campus, issue of clothin on campus, tradition clothing discrimination

When Nobody on Campus Looks Like You

In the documentary “Bronx Princess,” a young college student, Rockyatu Otoo, narrates the story of her transition from high school to college. In a video on the documentary’s website (www.bronxprincess.com), Otoo admits to her surprise of going to school and meeting very few people who looked like her. Unfortunately, many African students tend to have a similar experience and share the same difficulties as Otoo.  

Being one of few Africans in any given setting can be quite intimidating. In a sense, whenever one or few persons form a minority before a majority, they play a role of representing their group, whether or not they desire to. In the famous article “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack,” Peggy McIntosh succinctly corroborates this when she says: “I am never asked to speak for all the people of my racial group.” In essence, this intimidation and representation of one’s own race is only experienced by the minority.

The achievement gap found between blacks and whites, especially in the United States, tends to exacerbate the situation. According to a feature by Inside Higher Ed (Click here for article), “Barely two in five Black and Hispanic freshmen earn their bachelor’s degree six years after enrolling in college compared to 60 percent of whites.” This achievement gap often causes others to place a low estimate on black students, which adds to the complexity of college.

In the documentary “Bronx Princess,” Otoo grew accustomed to the new environment by junior year through her involvement in various organizations, which helped to build a considerable network of people. This did not only consist of those with whom she shared the same background, but also others of a different heritage who could relate to her experience and shared common interests.

Are you or someone you know feeling intimidated in college or any other unfamiliar setting? Remember that it helps to reach out to others. Our differences are mostly superficial and deep inside we are all the same created in God’s image. What is your experience?

Tags: african students, black and white achievement gap, bronx princess, peggy mcintosh, rockyatu otoo

Is There a “Glass Ceiling” for College Too?

Our current age has shown much growth in the realm of equality, but one of the unfortunate exceptions is the existence of the “glass ceiling.”  This invisible but powerful obstacle is one of the most persistent monuments to the former days of sexism and misogyny. If you are unfamiliar with the term, it is defined by the Business Dictionary as “Invisible but real barrier through which the next stage or level of advancement can be seen, but cannot be reached by a section of qualified and deserving employees.” When this term is used, it most often refers to a denial of upward progress due to gender. According to the United States Federal Glass Ceiling Commission, 95%  to 97% of the senior managers at Fortune 100 companies are white males, even though 57% of the workforce is female, ethnic minorities, or both. The disparity is very apparent in the corporate world, but does this same gap exist on our college campuses?

In an article in the Chronicle of Higher Education (click here), Robert Drago examines the existence of the academic “glass ceiling.” In this piece, he refers to a 2005 incident at Harvard University, where the institution’s  president stated that “relatively few young women were prepared to make the ‘near total commitments to their work’ required of successful academics.” And that “men may hold a biological advantage in the pursuit of science and engineering careers.”  The fact that a president of one of the world’s leading universities can say that is strong evidence in favor of a “glass ceiling” even in higher education. This is also proven by the fact that the vast majority of female professors are given contingent positions, which provide  less pay, fewer benefits, and less job security. This means that more men are given prestigious tenure positions,  giving them an advantage to obtain leadership positions such as presidencies. In the world of higher education, it is still very much a “man’s world.”

These facts are very sobering, but there is a silver lining. The first step to solving a problem is to realize it. Therefore, if we work our hardest, and continue to demonstrate skill, it is my belief that the ‘glass ceiling’ will be shattered both in the corporate world and on campus. The power of education and discipline will surely overpower all discrimination and unfairness.

Tags: academic glass ceiling, class ceiling, glass ceiling in college, robert drago

It’s Really Time for you to Get Married, Etcetera

Young adulthood, in my opinion, is the best time of anyone’s life. That great feeling of independence, a new life of your own and all of the energy and prime of youth at your disposal makes it exciting!  This period, however, is often darkened by persistent pressure from parents, relatives and others to get married, advance in school or establish a profession.   The pressure, usually in the form of  the statements: “You really need to settle down,” or “Now that you’re almost done with college, what are you going to do next?” tend to heavily weigh down on recipients emotionally.

It is overwhelming when expectations of others are placed upon your shoulders. Many of us seek to please our parents, often to repay them for their sacrifice, and in other cases, out of fear. The desire to please one’s parents is not wrong in itself. In fact it is biblical as Exodus 20:12 states: “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you” (NIV).  But seeking to please your parents should not be at the expense of fulfilling your purpose.

The bottom line is that each person has a calling to fulfill. We will never have true happiness until we carry out that calling, regardless of our income. God has a timeline for each person, and no two people have the same destiny for their lives. When we live our lives to fulfill our purpose, and not our parents’, we reach a place of  peace and find great happiness in our lives.

Tags: challenges in young adulthood, fulfill your purpose, fulfilling your purpose, young adulthood